Here is the photographic proof for this story. One of my friends needed me to scan some memory chips so he could see what they looked like, so I decided to save time and scan them in the same picture. If you think this entire story is a steaming pile of lies, I'll scan the autograph again with whatever object you want me to. Anyway, here it is: http://shiner.nucleardog.com/terrygilliam3.JPG Also, if you want to quickly link anyone to this story, link them here: http://shiner.nucleardog.com/autograph.txt. Be sure to do File -> Save As -> and then view it in Notepad or some other word processor so that word wrap is available. I have acquired forking Terry Gilliam's autograph! Here's the ridiculously long story how (SUMMARY AT BOTTOM), and as you can tell by the picture, it's completely true: Last month, my school offered an outing to Grade 11 and 12 students called "Career Spotlight workshops", in which we can visit a workplace in Regina to learn about careers and such. Of the five that were offered, one screamed at me to try: Film and Motion Picture, to be held at the sound studio in the city. I've always secretly wanted to be a filmmaker, so I really wanted to look into this one. Well, the workshop was today, so I got a ride into town with my dad, as he works only a few blocks away from the sound stage anyway. We weren't totally sure of the location, but when I recognized students from the school, we knew where to go. The tour was planned from 9 AM until noon, so my dad offered to drive me back to school at his lunch hour too. Early on in the tour, we (the group of about 15 students) were informed of how we wouldn't get a chance to come close to Terry, as he and his production team were busy in the green screen room. It was Day 53 of principal photography, and the final day of production, and our tour guide for the start, Chris Plum (who is the Location Manager for the film) informed us that they had a lot to get done. He showed us some of the sets they built there, though, and we got to walk inside them. Apparently they were rebuilt from the ground up to look like actual houses in the Katepwa area, about 50 KM outside of the city. They reminded me of that hotel room in Twelve Monkeys quite a bit. Well, Chris Plum dropped out so he could get back to work and turned it over to a government employee who was responsible for recruiting new people to work in local film crews. He discussed jobs in the film industry, but not for very long - just long enough to convince me to change desired profession from electrician to best boy in the electric department (the guy who does all the hookups for the lights, etc.). We also received a booklet describing each position in each department in detail. After that presentation, we stopped in a hallway as Terry Gilliam's individual crew members traversed from room to room. The current leader at the time whispered to me when I approached the front of the group, "So, you're a Terry Gilliam fan? That's him over there." Lo and behold, directly ahead of us, was Gilliam himself! He was talking into a camera, with another cameraman behind him. It sounded like he was talking about the movie, and his interview would be used as footage as an extra featurette on the DVD. Just in case we wouldn't get the opportunity as a group, I decided to walk behind him as another one of his crew did so, so that I might appear on the DVD. The tour guide told me, "Don't bother, they'll probably edit you out," to which I replied, "I'd like to see them try! They'd be losing footage of him talking if they did that..." It didn't really matter, because the whole group walked behind him moments later, and Terry moved his neck rapidly to look at each person in the parade occuring behind him, in the most comical way possible. The tour came to an unexpected end 100 minutes early, so everybody left - except of course for me, and some other kids from another small town were stuck for a little bit because the person who drove them there locked his keys in the car. As he waited for the CAA to arrive to free his keys with their amazing tools, I spoke with him and he told me about how he wanted to work up to being a cinematographer, and he went on to tell us about how he used keys to the school that he acquired from the friendly janitor to go into the school at night and work with his friends for months to make a 27-minute movie, and publish it online. He said it used to be at zed.cbc.ca, but they don't want to host it any more (or something to that effect), so I stepped in and offered to host it on my site. Expect it to be there eventually. But that actually has nothing to do with this story. (EDIT, 12/12/04: The video should be on the site right now, actually. It's 54 MB, which is pretty large, so don't even think about streaming it. Save it to your hard drives instead. http://shiner.nucleardog.com/dark_ops.mov ) Anyway, because I don't have my driver's license (although I'm going for the test this Saturday (EDIT 12/12/04: I got 54/100. :D )), I was stuck at the soundstage until noon. I decided to go back and get a pen from the old tour guide, and remain hopeful in an attempt to get Terry Gilliam's autograph. (According to my dad, he never did return to the Absolute Cash Pawnshop which he had checked out as a possible location.) I tested the pen, made sure it worked, and grabbed my booklet. I noticed that the green screen room was open, and the crew looked like they were in a more relaxed state, and not shooting at all. One of the crew asked me, "Are you in the Grade 12 tour?" to which I replied yes, even though I was so awe-struck at the time that I didn't remember that I was actually in Grade 11. He let me stand in a spot closer to the set that was still out of the way. Naturally, I didn't want to get closer, as I'm NOT the arrogant bastard I had been before to disrupt the production for my own personal gain. (Okay, that's a bit hypocritical, since I'm making this huge, embellished, showboating story.) I was prepared for disappointment. I did see Terry speak with some of his crew, and he left the set for a moment. Clueless and dazed, I followed a great distance behind him anyways, only to lose him in the dressing room/warddrobe section. I think that the 10-year old actress who was playing the lead (I don't know her name) was nearby, as I could hear a whispery voice. I eventually returned to the green screen room, where I continued to wait. After about 10 minutes of waiting for an opportune time to approach Terry, a small, blonde female technician with eyeglasses and a headset asked in a British accent, "Are you trying to get Terry's autograph?" Elated at her prowess at telepathy, I immediately responded with yes, where she lead me to Terry himself at the frontlines of the set, and after he finished talking with his associates (which took about 3 minutes), she tapped him on the shoulder and said to him "He wants your autograph." I proudly shook his hand when he turned to face me. The dialogue went something like this: Me: "Wow, Mr. Gilliam! It's an honour! I'm Rhett Dobson, I'm a big fan of your works." Terry Gilliam: "Oh, really, eh? Just the Monty Python stuff?" Me: "Well, that too, but I've also seen Munchausen and Twelve Monkeys, and I'm almost done watching Lost in La Mancha at home..." (Hours later, I thought "I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TIME BANDITS. I FEEL LIKE SCUM.") TG: *laughs* "Good stuff. So, who am I making this out to? Brett?" Me: "No, Rhett." TG: "R-E-T-T?" Me: "Yeah...no wait, R-H-E-T-T." TG: "Oh, as in Butler." *starts writing* The pen I got suddenly stopped working. Almost immediately, some other crew members offered their writing utensils. Terry settled for a black sharpie. "Oops, I'm running out of room to write my name..." *draws in the pencil* *after he finishes the autograph* "There you go!" Terry Gilliam extended his hand outward at a sort of 45 degree angle. I couldn't tell if he wanted a hi-five or another handshake. I guessed a hi-five, and we sort of missed. Me: "Oh, whoops. That was a handshake, not a hi-five." TG: "Nah, that's too American. Too British." *laughs* Me: *laughs* "All right, thanks man! This means a lot to me! See ya!" And then I walked away, with this proud trophy of what appears to be the first three letters of Terry Gilliam's name. I need an 8.5 x 11 frame for Christmas now. SUMMARY: HAH, Zeta! Now I have Terry Gilliam's autograph and you don't! Also, expect a new feature to appear on the site soon.